Imagine My Surprise!

Domestic Discipline. What a bizarre concept!  I remember watching the movie McClintock as a teen, as John Wayne put Maureen O'Hara over his knee in public and paddled her with a coal shovel, then pushed her to the ground declaring, "Now go get your divorce!" I remember thinking, hell, not only would I divorce him, but I'd take him for everything he's got! Then I'd kill him!

 Imagine my surprise when, in the next scene, O'Hara and Wayne are in the window of their ranch in a loving embrace and she's declaring her obedience in the aftermath of an embarrassing spanking. What the hell just happened? Did I miss something? Okay, I chalked it up to Hollywood and the patriarchal and misogynistic societal influences of the 1950's. That only happens in old movies and I Love Lucy episodes.  Right?

 So here I am 30 years later, I'm a married woman of the new millennium, and the subject comes up again, only we're not talking about Hollywood this time. We're talking about my life.

 Now, Maureen O'Hara's character was an angry, vindictive, jealous, demanding, high maintenance woman with a temper, and frankly, even the most staunch feminist of the 21st Century would have to be a little relieved when she gets her comeuppance at the end of that film. Now, I don't come anywhere close to resembling her character. But Babyman and Sugaranne (our pet names for each other) had their problems... problems that had lasted 10 years and were only getting worse. I could enumerate them, but they all fall into the same basic category. He thought I didn't respect him, and he resented me for it.

 Imagine my surprise once again when I realized he had been spending time perusing a website called Taken in Hand. for months it was all over the computer's history, and he even boldly put it in our list of favorites. He wasn't trying to hide it. he was making it clear that we were going to have a discussion about domestic discipline sometime in the near future.
 Now, I'm no stranger to fun, sexy, erotic, foreplay spanking. I believe I even initiated it several years ago before we were married, and Babyman obliged me every once in a while to get the sexual juices flowing. If we weren't going to have a healthy marital relationship, then we were at least going to have a decent sexual one.

 But the day finally came when he decided to have the talk with me. There's a new Sheriff in town, and he declared his intention of taking his role as the head of this household, and I would show my respect through my obedience, honesty and respect.

 We decided to use domestic discipline as a means to help me be more organized and more goal oriented. He began by giving me a list of things to accomplish every day (putting the house in order, working on my artwork, exercising consistently, etc...) and for the first week or so I was excited, extremely motivated and felt a heightened self esteem.

I admit that I tested him. Wanted to find his limitations, see if he was serious, or if it was all male posturing, or even a smokescreen for more imaginative foreplay.  I never really thought he'd spank me for real in response to disobedience. Not for real. I mean... C'mon! Seriously!

Imagine my surprise when he did.

 But here's the kicker... Imagine my surprise once again when, not only did I not want to divorce him or kill him over it, but I wound up in that same Wayne-O'Hara embrace declaring my obedience in the aftermath of an embarrassing spanking. What the hell just happened? Did I miss something?

 So now I'm in love with, and married to a man who holds me accountable for dishonesty, disrespect and disobedience. The punishments are painful, embarrassing, cathartic, and cleansing. I often find myself in a struggle for control and power, and, at the same time, willing to submit to his will and desires. I'm confused and content at the same time.

 Imagine my Surprise.