Riddle Me This, Batman...

If the Joker spanks Batgirl, should she take it seriously?

There are times when I just don't know if BabyMan is joking. He often displays a look on his face that has an ambiguously serious glare or a humorous gleam in his eye.  He likes it this way. It keeps me on my toes, and having acquired my Bachelors degree in BabyManology a few years ago, I can usually read his body language with some degree of accuracy... usually.

This past weekend we decided for the first time since our immersion into the wonderful world of domestic discipline, that we would entertain another couple who are a part of this community and enjoy the same lifestyle we do. We had been a bit reluctant in the past and also a tad paranoid since the Parker/Brinlee incident to open ourselves up to anyone, realizing that information can be easily passed from person to person purely unintentionally, but nevertheless, dangerously. We kept our profiles low from the eyes of those who's self righteous attitudes would cause them to lash out at us, and in the process remained hidden from the very people with whom we want to connect.

So recently we decided to open up to one couple who were passing through town on route to their home from a short vacation.

Now here is where the ambiguity comes in. The day before we are to meet this couple at a restaurant a few miles from our home, BabyMan decides that he is obliged to give me one of those Remember Your Place, Woman spankings. I had read about them in various blogs before. It's not necessarily a maintenance spanking, and certainly not a punishment. There was an air of eroticism in the application, and yet a bit of drama displaying a touch of grievance and irritation, but mostly... it's a warning.

Sunday evening I was on the computer in a quick chat with another blogger when BabyMan walked into the den carrying the Weapon of Ass Destruction. He placed it on the arm of the couch and sat down. I looked at the paddle, and then at his face as I searched for answers.

"Say goodbye to your friend and come over here," he demanded.

I blinked incredulously as I usually do when he does this. This is our routine. He expects to be able to demand that I place myself across his lap obediently without question or hesitation... and I... disobediently hesitate and ask lots of questions.

"What's this all about?" I asked.

He sighed, frustrated. "Why do you always have to question me?"

I sighed, just as frustrated. "What's the big secret? Why can't you just tell me?"

"Because you need practice being submissive."

"I do not. There's nothing wrong with the way I submit."

"...she said defiantly."  He grabbed the paddle and slapped it hard against the couch.  I jumped just enough to give away the fact that I was intimidated.  "let's go... NOW!"

He glared at me with a look in his eye that lingered somewhere between sober determination and humor. I turned back to the computer screen, told my friend that I was being summoned, and closed out the Yahoo Messenger. These are the times that make me a bit nervous. I pretty much have a 50/50 chance that this is going to be a lighthearted guilt free and pain free paddling for no particular reason other than he wants the closeness and connection. Those are nice. The other possibility is that he's pissed off about something that he's been bottling up and trying to avoid mentioning because he's convinced himself that it's not worth a confrontation... until it causes him to explode all over my backside.

I kneel next to him on the couch and venture to inquire one more time. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

He gently grabbed my shoulders and pushed me down across his lap. "Relax," he said. "I just want to get a few things straight."

"A few things like what?"

"We've got one of your chat girlfriends and her husband coming to visit tomorrow, and I think we should have an understanding."

I didn't like the sound of this. I tried to push myself back up, but he held me down pushing me firmly into the couch cushions while the other hand yanked down my panties. "Every once in a while you get a little too testosterony."

"Testoster... what? That's not even a word!"

"Testosterony. You act like you've got a little too much testosterone coursing through your veins, and you like to push the envelope.  Remember when you put on your new weight training gloves last week?  You strutted around here giving me attitude like you overdosed on steroids."  The paddle came down on my butt cheek making my legs buck. 

"Ow! I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Oh, I think you know exactly what I'm talking about. And while I let you get away with that when it's just the two of us, you're not going to show off for your girlfriend."

This wasn't fair at all! I haven't done anything wrong... yet.

"You're not going to boss me around," WHAP! "You're going to watch your tone with me," WHAP! "and you're not going to disrespect me in any way, do you understand?" His voice was calm and rational while I was beginning to panic. The strikes of the paddle were getting harder, and began to sting my sit spot. I grabbed onto his ankle and squeezed hard with every strike of the paddle.

"You have a tendency to tell me to shut up," he went on.

"Okay, I do. But it's in a really respectful way!"

I could feel his body shake in suppressed laughter. "Yes, Baby, I know. You tell me to shut up very respectfully. But your not going to say it at all during this meeting. Understood?" WHAP!

"Yes! I understand!"

"Who's HoH?" WHAP!

"Ow!  You are!"

"And who's the submissive wife?" WHAP!

I gritted my teeth, held my tongue and moved my hand back to protect myself.  I can never seem to answer this question with any degree of ease and conviction.  He grabbed my wrist and jerked it out of the way.  "Who?" WHAP!

"All right, dammit, I am!"

"You're going to treat me as though I were your first thought... and your last thought."

"I always do!"

"Yes, of course you do, Baby, I just want to make sure that doesn't change" He brought the paddle down on me a few more times as I squeezed my eyes shut. "Now let me tell you what will happen if I'm unhappy with your behavior..."

Oh, God, here it comes.

"If I have to remind you just once not to cross the line, we will excuse ourselves, and I will march you into this room, shut the door and your friend will hear you get a spanking you won't soon forget.  Got it?"

"What?" I laughed nervously.  He's kidding... he's got to be kidding!

"Or better yet, maybe I'll just do it right in front of them."

I felt myself gasp,  This all had to be a huge joke, right? His demeanor was humorless, but his words were so bizarrely ridiculous, that I had to stop myself from bursting into laughter. But again... I couldn't be sure if he meant what he was saying. So I said those famous last words that so many dd wives spanning the generations have said to their husbands.  "YOU...WOULDN'T...DARE!"

"I absolutely would."

"You would not!"

"Oh no? You really want to try me?"

I felt the sting of that paddle in a consistent rhythm for a few minutes as I grabbed a throw pillow and screamed into it.

I went to bed that night shocked, confused, unsure of his resolve, sure of his lunacy, a little nervous, and a lot sore.

The visit with our new friends went very well, and I was the model of submissive perpetuity.  BabyMan tossed me only a raised eyebrow when at one point I took the lead and forcefully hijacked the plans for the evening.  But all in all, he was very proud of me.  But here it is four days later, and I still have no idea if he would have carried out his threat.  I don't think I'll ever know for sure if he would have the nerve to spank me in  front of others, because I'll never give him a reason to.  But as I work on my study of BabyManology for my Masters, I have come to realize that this particular mid term exam was no better than a C- because... I'll never really know the answer to that question... God willing.